1.
It is a tooth in a cloth
not small like a child’s treasure
but large, sharp and white,
hunting for the hunger
it has lost.
2.
It is the anger you wake to
after a flood of emotion
pours through your dream –
it has no object and
seems to float in the room
above the bed, punishing the walls.
3.
It is a grey sky that’s suddenly a sagging,
ponderous, black cloud paunch
(It’s me without an umbrella, missing you).
Thursday, December 14, 2006
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14 comments:
WOW!
Your prolificacy of late is noteworthy!
Are you tired of hearing me say, "One of your best"? :) Because it is.
Fantastic stuff.
Thanks Aurora! Such an enthusiastic comment is just wonderful (I live for one of your WOWs). I'm really thrilled you are enjoying these humble verses, my sweet. Thanks for these powerful and heartwarming words.
Hey russel...This so light to my heart...loved it ...sweet and gentle
Hi Nasra! I'm so glad you came and enjoyed this. Thanks for your wonderful words.
Russell, a dynamite ending!! A tooth hunting "for hunger it has lost", a grey sky with a "black cloud paunch" great lines, things I can relate to all too well.
Thanks Pat! I'm glad you found things here that were meaningful to you. There is a lot we all have in common. Thanks for the exceptionally encouraging words.
A piece like this (with its metaphors, its imagery, its ending) could so easily make me weep.
(You owe me a box of tissue. *grin*)
Hi soulless! One box of tissues is on its way - We Deliver. I may have to use a couple of them first, though beause I've been rading your gorgeous new poems.
Thanks for the great comments, my sweet.
Have a wonderful Christmas and a happy holliday.
I will be damned. I can't find words....
Thanks gautami tripathy! I'm going to assume that speechless is a good thing. The last line gathers the three images together rather suddenly. I hope the finish wasn't unpleasantly abrupt. Thanks for being wordless.
Very nicely done and leaving just enough for the reader to fill in for him or herself. Enjoy Tucson. It was great last week.
Thanks Don! I'm glad to hear your helpful feedback. Thanks for that and I'm looking forward to being in Tucson soon. Sounds like you had a good trip.
All are nice, but I really like the second one!
Thanks Andrew! In number one, the drive, hunger, is a physical state that becomes an emotion without a body to be in. In number two, anger is an emotion that becomes a physical state which biochemically resides in a body that has lost the link that triggered that emotion. In number three, a physical state (external) triggers an emotion (which becomes a physical state) which is unrelated to the trigger in any other way than poetically.
I like that second one a lot too, simply for its sense of mystery. Thanks for the great comment.
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