with the sun’s infliction
watching gathering lines
searching for the
words of waiting
as well as music
from the margins
of afternoon
which were agitated
and in that agitation
crows called to their hue
the colorlessness creeping
up from the roots
of Soviet style apartment buildings
down from Lenin
all the way up
to the language
darkness speaks with
black mitigating wings
scudding on the
ebb tide of sunset
to the land of closed eyes
that dance with black
that bleeds from every
corner crack
taking away all
but the sunny frosty afternoon
I still carry inside
Sunday, February 24, 2008
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17 comments:
this was an intensely powerful piece... why is it i feel political undertones... or is it cultural?? this segment...
to the land of closed eyes
that dance with black
that bleeds from every
corner crack
is expertly written....
I agree with paisley on this one: deeply and intensely moving. I love the one rhyme hidden in the middle. It propels the reader to the end. And I understand carrying that sunny frosty afternoon: sometimes it gives us life and sometimes it's just a burden. Torn between despair and hope...sometimes despair would be easier but it's just not who we are.
I sense survival after a war and the change of location has made room for growing and exploring the new scenery while still holding steadfast to the memories that linger of what once was familiar. Beautifully intense. Thanks for sharing. Have a nice day.
Great phrasing and visually compelling. Strong work.
Thanks paisley! The undertones are mainly cultural here. Thanks for those nice words!
Hi phantom! Thanks for those greatly encouraging words. That sunny afternoon is a question about the external/internal nature of beauty. And thanks, the rhyme and the caesura just before it were a happy accident.
Hi Michelle! I'm pleased the power of that emotional/intellectual moment came through on the page.
Thanks tumblewords! You are absolutely right. This was, first and formost, a powerful visual experience that had a direct relation to a parallel emotional experience.
beautiful piece here...very moving.
Thanks UL! Glad you enjoyed this!
This is so wonderful. Your words have delivered me to a place where my soul listens quietly to your words while appreciating the newness.
I've gained experience through the visuals of your words that act as a sort of extension cord by which I am temporally connected.
Thank you.
Thanks Queen Neetee! This is about my favorite time of day, sunset in winter when the crows migrate back to the outskirts where they prefer to sleep. Russian crows are amazing birds!
And the "sunny frosty afternoon" no one can take away. Powerful write Russell!!
Thanks Pat! I am pleased to be the fortunate recipient of your approbation, my old friend. You and Queen Neetee are some of my very good old friends in blogging. This post has been very fortunate indeed to have wonderful comments from both of you.
wonderful, as always. pardon me for being so tardy with blogging. but as always, your poetry pulls me back to blogging, or atleast, checking your blog.
Hey Shubhodeep! It is great to see you, my young poet friend. I have been missing your posts lately. It is wonderful to see you again and thanks for those warm, kind and thoughtful words!
strong words!!!
Thanks Ruela!
it is amazing, is it not, how often entering a seemingly innocuous moment leaves an indelible mark upon us , spurring creativity
you paint the scene vividly
Hey Ozy! You are absolutely right, it is an amazing experience. It occurs without verbal form and it is very difficult to keep it a wordless experience, especially since it is only with words or pictures that I have the opportunity to share what I sensed. Tough to hold on to that purity. Thanks for the great comment, my friend!
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