Did you say tomorrow?
I’ve been promises,
I’ve been darkness
dogging crevasses,
with little hope
of covering the distance.
I’ve spread too thin.
And the promises?
They tunnel blind darkness,
nibbling love like a termite.
The nights are edgy,
I don’t hold them well,
they slip from my fingers
and shatter like dark, greased diamonds.
Friday, October 20, 2006
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24 comments:
Russell, you write from the "Dark" side very well.
"The nights are edgy,
I don’t hold them well,
they slip from my fingers
and shatter like dark, greased diamonds
scuttling off to somewhere..." I don't think I've ever read a more poetic description of sleepless nights. Sterling write!!
Thanks Pat! Wow, what a fantastic comment!
Russell! This is a good voice for you! Absolutely one of my top three favourite poems of yours.
Oh yeah, and back to add -- WOW!!!!!:)
Thanks for that Aurora! I've been experimenting specifically with voice quite a bit lately and the feedback is really appreciated. Glad you liked the poem that much. The coming back for a wow was pretty impressive. Thanks a bunch, my sweet!
Very nice, Russell -- very deep thoughts.
Thanks j. andrew! Glad you enjoyed this!
"i've been darkness" is a surprising twist...and "greased diamonds" as well ... tho, not a big fan of the last 3 lines ... the diamons really steal the ending ...
hope you are well, and thans for all these jewels of poems!
nights are edgy
i dont hold them well
excellent.
Thanks Craig! I agree, the last three lines are just words - diamonds are an experience. Thanks, I am well and hope the same is with you. Thanks for the wonderful (and accurate) words on the poems!
Wow, Thanks Nicole! You've been being a busy young lady, hard to catch you these days. I'm glad you came by for a comment. Best to you and thanks for the great comment!
Hey Craig, try this out! I had to do a couplet at the end as this is one of my myriad sonnets. Also this is a 55 word poem (a form invented by a poet friend who calls himself .:A:. and has a blog called English, August) so I had to control the number of words it contained (55 without the title). I think this ending is closer to what I was trying to say and do.
Hi
Some nice poems. Have you thought about getting some poems together in a collection? (Did I say that before?)
Winter's on the way here. Lots of wet weather - damp, chilly. Need top wrap up in a few warm words.
Hope you're well.
Hi Roger! Thanks for those kind words. Yes, I've been putting together a chap book in fits and starts (no, this is the first time you've mentioned it). They have me lecturing full time at the university now so I've gotten pretty busy.
The cold air clouds immediately here when you exahale warm breath into it. It is perpetually at dew point, it is so cold and heavy. The ravens are saying: kar, kar, kar. That is Kazakh for snow and everybody believes them for their warning. Perhaps, as they were flying high in the sky, they have seen it coming. (I wonder what snow looks like before it falls?)
All is well over here and my health is good, thanks. I hope all is well with you and Jill also.
Stay warm, my friend.
Just love that last stanza-and the darkness is so opressive
very touching poem...I loved it 100%
Very strong finish,the nights slipped through our fingers like the sun in a basin of water when we try to catch it and realise it is a fools gold...you never cease to amaze me, are you really chef, perhaps a very poetic chef whose recipes are made so mich better with the music you write!
Thanks Sue! Glad you enjoyed this. Yes the darkness was ment to be a presence in this poem. Thanks for the great comment.
Thanks Nasra! Wow, thanks for the enthusiastic comment. Glad you loved this and thanks for telling me.
Thanks plus ultra! Yes I really was a chef and before that I was a retail meat cutter. I miss working as an executive chef, I miss the magic of the kitchen. In teaching's defense, I must say that I am really enjoying being a university lecturer. The young people are wonderful; they are our hope on a societal level just as our children are our personal hope.
interesting form russell! i'll try it out!
peace
HI Craig! It is interesting! If you check out the site English, August (you'll find it on the side bar with my links) you can check out a whole bunch of them. Enjoy.
I always relate to your poetry rather well...
Thanks gautami tripathy. I'm glad these poems can be there for you. Thanks for the wonderful comment.
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