Superstition
Turn to the horror of himself, look at deep within
He knows there is a growing burden, He is guilty
If he hadn’t done what he shouldn’t do, no problem,
But he had to; no one takes care of you but yourself.
Steal that candy, break that toy, nobody will see it.
Don’t worry if they catch you, you can lie (as always).
God smiles at him from heaven, he is completely free,
Take that money, he knows he wants what they won’t give him;
Life passes into the hands of the greedy and quick.
The burden builds like a dangerous house with a short,
He can never relax because it’s all coming down.
He looks to the sky and thinks with a frown, no one home.
What there he sees is a reflection of him – snake eyes.
Friday, September 15, 2006
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20 comments:
Wow, Russell! Good write! Reminds me of a snake or two.
Thanks Aurora! Glad (I guess) for the reminder and I'm pleased you liked this rather dour work.
Hi Russell,
your poem reminds me of Judas who betrayed Jesus for money...but thats just symbolic..the story of betrayal goes on..
Your writing is splendid!
Yeh, Judas was a piece of work! This poem is about the root of superstition which I believe is guilt, and the accompanying fear which makes us look at everything as if it was a sign. Thanks for the kind words. Your poem was wonderful, I enjoyed it very much!
"Paranoia runs deep"!! Some know it well, and never recognize it in themselves. Another great one!!
Thanks Pat! Glad you liked it. Me, I'm just still dizzy from your tiny Red Barrons.
OMG!
this was reallly really good! simple, direct and tight and so so relevant. loved it!
Thanks Gulnaz for such an enthusiastic comment! I'm really glad you enjoyed it and thanks for making me feel so good.
The snakes eyes of guilt, perfectly explained!
Thanks Jo! Luck, guilt, and omen-like occurences are especially difficult to deal with in an injust and Godless world. Thanks for your perceptive comment!
yeah, great piece!
Thanks csperez! Glad you came to check it out.
Loved the metaphors of the 'house' and the 'home'... That second stanza made me sit right up at the end of my chair. ^_^ A poem that ends with a bang. Cheers.
Thanks soulless! Thanks for mentioning the building tension part of the poem. Glad to know that part worked. And thanks for the great comment!
Excellent write! I like condensed nature of this poem. The tension builds and culminates in a punch at the end.
A very interesting poem to read. A lot of tension and mystery throughout.
I'll be back in the future.
Thanks Natalia! Glad you enjoyed this and have come to leave your wonderful, wise comments busy as ants at a sugar spill.
Hi m. shahin! Thanks for the nice, interesting and helpful comments. I'll be looking forward to your visits.
I particularly like the last line it provides a sudden shock immage in the lulling of the conciense healing its self
Thanks Sue! I'm glad you liked that forced moment of recognition.
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