laughter rings
the circle round
outside the fringe
quiet abounds
my rhymes are futile
transparent as a bottle
empty too
I’m haunted
(snow flake tears)
I’m a ruined castle
you climbed my mountain
you found me
blue and naked
chattering with firs
my breath fogs
it has no meaning
unless I breathe again
for you
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14 comments:
Russell, love the pain and aching, and pleading you put in this. Excellent!!
Russell..this is a real gem. Enjoyed it. Lots of feeling in it. Good poems take you somewhere and this one does. Go Cats!
Thanks Pat! Yes, in that order. Thanks for the great comment, my friend.
Thanks Don! Bear Down! Nothing better than some appreciation from a classmate. Glad you are still enjoying the fruits of my poisoned pen after all these years. Thanks for the fantastic comment.
Very powerful! Nice work...
Many great memories of Bear Down Gym. I miss the olive trees that used to line the campus along Park Avenue. I remember walking through them in the evening coming back from the library.
Are you a Sabino Canyon fan? How about Gates Pass? Headed back to Tucson in mid-December. I'll leave a note for you there when you go there for Christmas...have to think of where.
Thanks Andrew! I'm warming up for a Ghazel. Thanks for the great comment.
At the Bandersnatch we hosted a Olive Blossom Queen Contest. Another of my favorites was the campus awareness theme: guess which brick this is. We had a lot of fun at the expense of Dr. Weevil.
Leave the note in the campus Poetry Center. I'll surely go there as it is one of my favorite spots at the UofA. It is a wonderful place!
Have a great trip (I'll fly in on the 23rd)!
The last stanza has me wrapped up in endearing warmth. Thank you for sharing this, dear. ^_^
I absolutely love this one! And the crescendo it reaches at the ending - simply perfect!
Hi dear soulless! It's snowing here but the warmth in your comment warmed me up completely. Thanks for the great comment, my dear soulless.
Thanks Aurora! I'm so glad you liked this one, especially the crescendo. You make such wonderful comments. Thanks!
this gave me an immage a castle and a rescuing knight-this is probably because I'm insane-luckily I'm harmless (well I think I am) my children don't flinch when I move my arms which I think is a good sign?
More seriously very nice piognant poem though.
Thanks Sue! You are so perceptive! This poem has a strong overtone of courtly love. I was getting more intimate with this part of the love theme of a ghazal. I'm glad you liked the way this turned out. I rather liked it too. Thanks for you wonderful comments.
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